A Sad Day

As many of you know, Ben and I have three miniature horses. Yes another one of Ben's hairbrained ideas to start a collection. When we got our miniature horses, two of them were pregnant. Since we are getting ready to go on a big trip to Israel and Turkey for 17 days, we sent Tina, one of the pregnant mares who was due in early October to stay with the lady we bought her from. This way if she gave birth while we were gone, there would be someone there who knew what to do. 

Well, Tina had her baby yesterday morning. Unfortunately, the foal was born with a rare genetic disorder called "lethal white." This happens when two horses carrying the overo paint gene are bred with one another. When this happens there is a 1 in 4 chance that the baby will be born with this genetic disorder. Tina is  solid tan horse, with a blonde mane...she shows no signs of having the overo paint gene...but she must have been a carrier. Since, Tina was bred to another paint carrying this gene, the foal was born as a "lethal white." Foals who are born with this condition are solid white with blue eyes.  The same gene that creates the white skin, however,  also prevents the lower intestines from fully developing. Essentially, they can eat, but they can't poop...so that creates major problems. Usually, horses born with the lethal white condition die within the first 72 hours of life. 

Lana, our breeder, called Ben yesterday afternoon to tell him that Tina had delivered her baby...but she also told him there was  a problem. So he went over to Helotes to see the baby and talk with Lana about what to do. They eventually decided that it was best to put the foal down since she was in such discomfort and would not make it too much longer. 

I was in Austin the whole time this was going on. I called Ben after class and he told me the bad news. I started balling, I mean crying like a baby...walking down the street to my car, crying. To be honest it really hit me hard. I didn't even like Tina...she was mean and didn't really like me much, but I was so sad for her and for little spot (that's what Ben named the baby). Tina endured 11 months of pregnancy and before she could ever really bond with her baby, little spot was gone. How lonely she must feel, how sad to lose your little one before ever getting to know her, how discomforting it is to not know where your baby has gone. I know we are talking about a horse, but I do believe they have feelings...feelings that are much more sophisticated than we can imagine. I wonder if she knew that something was wrong and perhaps that is why she was grumpy all the time. Ben said Tina was a great mom for little spot during the few hours they got to be together. In the end, I guess this is God's way of helping me appreciate and like Tina.

I am still wrestling with what God wants to teach us through all of this. One thing I have learned is that as much as I wasn't excited about getting the minis, I have grown to care for and love them over these past few months. And as much as I wasn't excited about having more, I am sad that there will be no baby mini grazing in my back yard....well until Leena delivers her baby. I told Ben when I was so upset on the phone that this is why I didn't want to have animals...because I didn't like it when they got hurt or were sick. And he said, "well honey, how do you ever think we are going to be able to have children if you are constantly fearful of them being sick or hurt." And he is right, God doesn't want us to live in fear, he wants us to take risks and trust that he is in control. He doesn't mind us mourning for a bit, but he wants us to take hold of His promises for prosperity, hope, and a future. 

I think Ben put it best..."she'll be the only pure white horse in heaven named Spot." God wants us to have  a sense of humor in the face of tragedy. 

Little spot a few hours after she was born. 

Isn't she sweet!

Tina being a good mom!

Spot getting her sea legs!